Thursday, 16 May 2013

Oscars of Polo Part II

March of the Penguins

I always think at black tie parties, it's the guys that look the best. Yes, most women have spent days in preparation mulling over outfits, buying Another New Dress and spending a good hour in front of the mirror applying more Mascara than an Essex girl sees in a month, but men in tuxedos just look... edible. 

Maybe it's because nowadays, unless you happen to work in The City, you so very rarely see a man in a decent suit. They always seem to be in All Saints t-shirts, dirty whites or hole-y jeans and any-old-shoes. Occasionally a decent watch helps me to recall that I'm with men and not college boys. 

But when there's a ball on, out come the dress shirts and hello, there's a gentleman in our midst. I instantly hope they're going to drink scotch, smell of Tom Ford's Noir and have a gold lighter which they'll casually flip open to light my cigarette. 

So for the Audi Polo Awards guys, don't grab a machine washable suit; don't borrow your brother's and do NOT wear jeans. Take inspiration from Tom Ford (WHAT a waste), George Clooney and closer to home, Nacho Figueras. 

A tuxedo isn't just a suit.

It's Frank Sinatra laughing with the Rat Pack; it's Bond drinking a martini and it's Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief. It's Redford as Gatsby and Steve McQueen looking The Bollocks. It's Clark Gable not giving a damn and George Clooney stealing your casino millions. It's Marlon Brando in The Godfather and Paul Newman looking beautiful. Now who wouldn't want to be a little piece of these guys for the evening?

My basic rules are: 

Wear a slim fit shirt – you players shouldn't have to worry about moobs or muffin rolls so get something that's cut properly
A proper bow tie – you can zip up knee pads, wrap ponies legs in bandages and undo a woman's bra, you can tie a bloody bow tie
And shiny shoes – this isn't the yard now so add some spit 'n' polish to your stamps.

For a more cohesive break down, check out GQ, here

Oh and don't wear a white jacket. You'll just look like a dickhead. Humphrey Bogart was telling Sam to play it again in Casablanca and even he looked a little suspect. And Connery as Bond could almost pull it off but then he also drove a DB5 so who noticed what he was wearing?

Credit where credit's due: The Sartorialist, Google, The Rake,Vogue & GQ

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